just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
