I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
