I'm lost and stupid without you.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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