Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
