We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
