how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
