I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
