I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
