we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
