She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
