Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
