He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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