Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
