Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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