I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
