My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
