last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
