Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
