I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
