Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You know, be my cock's hype man.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Found your dick twin last night
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Randomize
