didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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