I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
