he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And then my night got REAL pukey
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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