her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
