My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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