I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
