When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
