Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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