i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
