tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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