I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
