Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
