I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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