Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
