mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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