she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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