so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
