She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
