Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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