Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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