Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
