She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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