That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
