I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
