I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think people are normalizing furries
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
