proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
