So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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