all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
