Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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