ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We were destined to go to rehab together
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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